You know, i've never felt so happy like this morning.
i watched the sunrise(which i cant really see the sun but wth).
i kept telling myself how beautiful it was and how thankful i am to be given another chance to live in this world. cause u know, there's never tomorrow cos what if tomorrow never come? there's only yesterday and today.
right after watching the sunrise, i walked along the beach and played by the shore with babe.
when the wave hit my legs, it felt so cold and i have this tingling feeling around me.
i felt so happy when i played by the shore. letting the wave hit my legs. yea, i may sound like one primary school but thats what i felt at that point of time. i feel like im a kid once more. but hey, there's always kid in every single one of us. no doubt about that.
and yes once again i said, i've never felt this happy. it felt as if a burden was being taken away from my shoulder after all those very stressing and mundane life.

I've been thinking alot lately. like ALOT. my mind is always running marathon.
Oh December, why must u be harsh on me?

have u ever got stuck or trapped in between things and u are in a very difficult position? its like u neither can move left nor right nor up nor down. whatever u do, u have to think about two other people feelings. its like its okay if u're hurt and not them.

have u ever fell in love at the wrong time and maybe with the wrong person?
have u ever fell in love with that someone but u know u cant be with them?
have u ever fell in love with that someone but u know that someone belongs to some else?
have u ever fell in love with that someone but u know u have to sacrifice your love towards him in order to see him happy? or in other words, u do not want to hurt any party.
have u ever fall in love with that someone but u know u have to let him go?

but WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects, preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love cannot be measured.
Love is a losing game. Agree? nahh, not true. but somehow, i always fail when im dealing with love. sometimes i gave up on love. its just a waste of time. to love someone is nothing. to be love by someone is something. to be love by someone who you love is everything.

Love taught me lots of new things and experiences. good and bad ones. Love is good when its right and bad when it's left in ur memories all the time. love hurts alot. it can make u go crazy. thats why love is describe as blind. i've fall in love and fallen out of love. i've been hurt. those experiences made me scared to fall back in love. i'll put the blames on some other guys and punish them instead due to his mistakes. i just cant run away from doing that and i dont know why. its unfair to them. im being unfair. i must stop putting blames on other guys. not all the guys are the same, i guess.


I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe.
Not yet a woman, im just trying to find the woman in me.

Im sixteen now. soon, im entering a new chapter of my life. im gonna enter poly and be a poly student. im one step closer to achieve my dreams.
as i said im entering a new chapter of life. im closing the book and im opening a new one soon. im not gonna look behind anymore. im gonna look forward in life. im living the bitter past behind and im gonna bring the good memories with me.
you know, im confused, clueless and scared. sometimes i wonder what's in store for me in the future? is it gonna be a good one? a bad one? what will happen when i enter poly? am i gonna change or be just myself? am i gonna love poly life? am i gonna have friends that suits to be call friends? ahh, i think im paranoid.

sometimes i wonder and ask myself whether i can achieve my dreams- a doctor/nurse/forensic. or i must live other people's dream? be an accountant etc. and my dreams is just a dream that cannot be achieve? uh-oh, i dont want that to happen.

people always ask me, 'farah, why are u so happy every single time and always smiling? like u dont have any problem.' and i will just smile at them. every single human being have problems. if i dont, then what am i? alien ahh.
i have times when im sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated etc. its just that i dont show it. i keep it down inside. i do not want to spoil the happy mood and atmosphere. yes i keep it and i will let go of it slowly. yes, letting go of that kindda feelings is the best. it makes u feel much better and thus will make ur day. (:

sorry, im just ranting some stuffs going through my mind.


first i thought that i could take you boy but i dont know.
you told me you were gonna leave her for me long ago.

Should I give up or should i just keep chasing pavements even if it leads to nowhere?

i survived! oh yes. my legs are aching due to long hours of standing up with only 15mins break.
currently working part-time under Yamaha at Plaza Singapura. simple job but tiring.
Yamaha had some showcase at the entrance of PS. so im supposed to give out Yamaha's catalogue to the people watching the performances.
while i work, im being entertained with different kind of songs from the Clavinova and Electone being played by the Yamaha students.
superbly wonderful! they're just talented. dang, how i wish i can play like them. the songs that i enjoyed the most are Sonata Musim Salju, i want Nobody Nobody But You(:D), Mission Impossible, Pirates of the Caribbean. in fact, i think i enjoyed most of the songs. :D
will be working for 3days only. saturday(yesterday), sunday(today) and monday(tmr). 12.30pm to 6/7pm. at least something, better than nothing right? yes, correct.

saturday was the most tiring indeed. when its my time to take a break, all i could do is go grab a seat without even filling up my empty stomache. too tired to eat i guess.
sunday which is today, was less tiring. did the giving out catalogues till 4pm. take a rest and was given a very simple job. paste price tags at the new books. ((:
ended at 6pm together with Mak Teh and then off to have our lunch cum dinner.

so tmr, last day of work at Yamaha. no, not giving out catalogues but paste price tags at the new books. but before that, at 12pm im going for an interview at the Zoo. hopefully, i can get the job.
will be going with izzati and ruzaini.

i should be sleeping by now u know cos i have to wake up early tmr. but before i go, let me tell you something. hehe. :D

i was waiting for 190 bus to go home just now. it was pack. i let 3 buses pass. so the fourth bus, die die i must get in. so i squeezeeeee myself through. behind me was a guy, maybe in his 18/19 years old. the space between me and him is like not more than 1cm at first. cos it was so bloody squeezy. as time goes by, we had some space but still standing very close with each other. i wasnt holding on to any poles or handle. same goes to him. so there's this part when the bus brake, we lost out balanced. i quickly hold the pole which is one arm away infront of me. and guess what? he did the same thing and at the SAME SPOT as me. his hand was over my hand. so we quickly took our hand away. and then he smiled and small laughed to himself. i looked at him. wanted to laugh but control. i was so embarrassed! my heart was beating fast. so we pretended nothing happened. when the bus reached bukit panjang, its less crowded. there's two empty seats. so i sat down and seconds later, he walked to the empty seat beside me and sat there.
i still cant figure if he's a chinese or malay. he looks like chinese but he looks like malay too. oh and i think he's quite good-looking. :DD heees.
ok the end~ :DDD

i miss my babes so much!

ok i wanna sleeeeep~

Farah.
Eighth of October.
Bubbly,Fussy,Loud,Fickle-minded.
Words describe my heart & feelings.
I don't like promises
Unlike you, i don't minced with my words.
I speak with my displeasure.
I'm blessed with wonderful family and friends.
;D
Farah Yahya

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